bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
