More tranny stories later!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
