I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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