he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
