He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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