she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
