it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
