just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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