i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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