who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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