I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
