how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
