part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
