i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
