You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
