She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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