can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
