i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
