Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Someone came in the potted fern
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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