i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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