you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
