I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
