I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
