I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
