I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Someone signed my nipple.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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