It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
