you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
