you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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