oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
