my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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