We got so high we made milksteak
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
