My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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