So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want to make out with him forever
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
