Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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