I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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