After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
