I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
