Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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