dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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