Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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