Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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