Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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