My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
