I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
