So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
