How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
