Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
