i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
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We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
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you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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