I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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