I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
