This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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