Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
