ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
