he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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