your room smells of hookers.
And success
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You dont lie about slip and slides
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
