im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
