I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
