It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
