I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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