I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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