I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You're like the curious george of whores
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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