I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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